A b s t r ac t
by cornwallace
Summary: That's not the way it happened.


/ / // /// // / / / / / // // / / / / / /A b s t r ac t  
-------------by  
******cornwallace

-

I've seen my death occur. It's already happened. Years and years ago. That's what makes my existence in this place so strange. This. . . . world.  
It's changed so much since it happened. Everything has.

Everything has fallen apart. Everything has gotten worse.

Alone. Goes without saying. Except for him. Don't consider him a friend. He's something I simply can't get rid of. It gets hotter when he comes around. Unbearable.

Don't want to think about it. Might show up. Last thing I need.

Room is dark. Bare. Single light bulb hangs from ceiling. String that turns it on dangling limply by it. Both sway back and forth. Fan. Draft. Hot stagnant air disrupted, pushed by cracked fan blades. Both far from reach.

They're afraid I'll find an easier way out. Sure. Learned from that mistake. Purgatory? Hell? My punishment is uncertain to me. However, it is sure to last forever.

-

Warmer.  
Head light; swimming. Breathing. Damp, sickening, hot air. You're okay. Maintain.  
Uneasy feeling crawling, tendrils reaching every inch of my body.

Sweating. Drenched fur clings to skin.  
The flame catches a corner of my eye.

Small fire starting in the corner.

Shaking. Fingers wrap around sides of the cot.  
Burns. Endure.  
Grip tightens. Nails digging into bottom of palms.

I know what this means. He's coming back.

Grit my teeth. Force eyes closed. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.

_What's the matter, _he asks, _aren't happy to see me?_

His voice a rasping, wheezing mess. Chalk that up to the hole in his throat. Sorry.

No, I say through clenched teeth. Not it at all. Eyes still shut tightly. Heat from flame getting closer. Hotter.

Can't let myself look at what I've created. Would only upset me further. Can't afford to have that happen this late in the game. Never get out if I keep crying. No, sir.

Springs in cot beneath me shift. He's sitting next to me.  
His hand on mine. His rotting hand.

_What happened to us?  
_I am confused by this 'us' you refer to. There was never any 'us'.  
_Heheh. You know what I mean.  
_Afraid I don't. Remove hand. Creeping me out, man.  
_As you wish._

Hand lets go of mine. Eyes pop open. Floating ash stings. Air thick with smoke. Hard to see. To my left, his silhouette withdraws it's hand and they disappear into his vague form.

_Ah, well. You may not remember, but I do. I may not have ever been your friend, but you were once mine.  
_We fought for the same cause once. Our paths destined to cross.  
_But something went wrong...  
_Of course. We were in it for different reasons. Something was wrong to start with.  
_What were you in it for?  
_This is some kind of test, isn't it?  
_What makes you say that?  
_Don't know. But it's obvious.  
_Okay, so take it like a test. Answer truthfully. What were you in it for?  
_My kingdom. My glorious kingdom...  
_Then what happened?  
_How many times did we have this conversation?  
_How many times did you fire the gun, Antoine?  
_I. Don't. Know.  
_Can't remember?  
_Shut up, okay? Just shut the fuck up.  
_Still bitter, are we?  
_That obvious?  
_"Eez it ZAT obbveuus?!" _he says, melodramatically crossing his arms and grunting.  
I... don't talk like that.  
_Your response doesn't really surprise me.  
_Oh? And why is that?  
_You like to lie to yourself.  
_What's that supposed to mean?  
_Figure it out, yourself. You seem to have everything covered, here.  
_Your sarcasm is evident.  
_Ohh, he gets it now. How cute.  
_Don't need your condescension. You're just like them, you know that? Hell, you are one of them.  
_Come now, Antoine. You're talking **crazy**.  
_Don't call me crazy. Not crazy.  
_How else would you describe all of this?  
_Is this part of the test?  
_What test?  
_Playing dumb, are we? That's okay.  
_You have no right to be bitter, you know that? If anyone deserves to be pissed off, it's me.  
_My crimes did not go unpunished.  
_True enough.  
_You didn't suffer this long. It isn't fair.  
_On the contrary. I suffer here with you. Day in, day out.  
_Time no longer exists.  
_Did it ever?  
_Good point.  
_There is right now. There is this instant, and this instant alone. Every experience you've ever had, that you've ever mapped out on this imaginary line you call time, it's all happening right now. This instant.  
_No. That can't be right.  
_Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself._

-

Knothole.  
Celebration.

You're the life of the party, and I hate you so much.  
Always have. Always will.  
Never, not even for a second did I consider you my friend.  
Instead, I saw you as competition.

How easy it was for you to run in, and take everything from me. Glory that was supposed to be mine. Could have been something great. Could have been a king. Maybe even a god.

But no.  
No, it's too late.  
All been ruined. Thanks to you.

You...

Everyone crowded around you. Everyone praising you. Worshipping the ground you walk on.  
It should be me. I should be the one. Not you.

Fists tightening.

Hollow praise, they throw at you.

"You're so wonderful! You're so great! Astounding, simply astounding!"

That smug smile on your face, as if to say _yeah, I already know._

Thought I could use you. Was wrong. Used me. Used all of us. And they hurl praise at you, when they should be hurling it at me.

Can't stomach this.

-

_Do you still feel that way?  
_Yes. Very much so.  
_Pity.  
_I'm failing the test, aren't I?  
_Yes, but not in the sense you're thinking.  
_What does that mean?  
_You'll see soon enough. Or you'll fail again.  
_I didn't get a study guide.  
_Not that kind of test. Your schooling doesn't mean shit, here.  
_Nothing means anything.  
_Now, what on Mobius do you mean by that?  
_It all adds up to nothing. Existing at all is pointless. Am I hitting the mark, here?  
_No.  
_What am I supposed to say?  
_You'll have to figure that out on your own._

-

Lights rushing past me.

Blurry.

Constant squeaking.

Metallic squeal of metal objects grinding against one another.

My head....

Everything bleeding together.

Can't move.

Restrained.

Screaming.

Begging for help.

God, whatever's out there, don't do this to me.

Straining.

Figures standing over me.

They all bleed together.

Dark figures bending down over me.

Whispering, discussing my fate.

Injecting me with their hatred.

My brain.....

Getting fuzzy.

Snap o

-

_ut of it.  
_I'm okay. Just hard to think in all this mess.  
_What mess?  
_The smoke. It's getting kinda hard to breathe.  
_I'm afraid you've lost me._

. . .

I'm fine, I.. . . . .

just need to lay down

Could you e

-

xcuse me?"  
The oaf's blood isn't even royal! How could you even stand to tarnish these great halls with a commoner?!  
"Antoine, it's that very attitude, that very kind of backwards, ignorant thinking that destroyed my father, and caused the fall of our empire."  
The fall of this empire was caused by those wretched humans.  
"It was _caused_ by his inability to treat every living thing as an equal! Can't you see that?"  
No. No, I'm afraid I cannot.  
"Then you'll understand why I can't grant you any positions in power. This type of bigotry, this type of discrimination you hold towards people and things will not be tolerated. We're trying to rebuild, here, to evolve here. Not take steps back."  
You're father promised me...  
"Oh, come on, Ant. You can't hold me to that. I'm sorry, but I don't love you. Things have changed."

. . . . . .

I'm disappointed in you, Sally.  
"What?!"

Hand goes to side.  
Pistol. Revolver.  
Draw.

Already regret this decision.  
Acting hastily. Have to just roll with it.

"NO!"

Finger squeezes the trigger three t

-

_imes did you fire the w_

-

eapon trembling in my mands, barrel smoking.

First one caught her in the stomach.

Started doubling over.

After that, one caught her in the chest.

Pushed forward, then back.

Then, one in the head.

Bounces off back of throne.

Tilts sideways.

Stand staring in awe. Can't move.

Think.

Not much time.

Footsteps.

The door opens.

-

Put my faith in the system, and the system has failed me.  
All my life, I've worked for this.  
Everything built up to a failure. Because of that human. Because of that hedgehog.

And she let it happen.

Never felt so betrayed in my existence. Never felt so *hurt*

-

_"Sally? What's going on in there?"_

-

It's getting warmer, and harder to think.

-

King Acorn promised me many things.

Used to take me hunting with him.

Loved him more than my own father.

Right now, I've just fired my rifle. Deer catches one to the neck before he can react.  
Reload. Cock. Fire.

The animal's fight diminishes, and he falls to the ground, dead.

Excited. First kill.

"An excellent shot, boy!" he says, his voice echoing throughout the forest.

Shoulder the weapon. His hand grabs my other.

"I wanna talk to you about something," he says.

-

_"Antoine! W-what happened?!"_

-

The smoke cloud is getting thicker. Can't even see him anymore. Can't see my hand in front of my face. But I know he's there, know he's still there. He's always somewhere around here. Only chooses to reveal himself at certain times. _Have you learned nothing?_ The test, it's too hard. Need help. _I'm afraid I can't spell it out for you. _Why not? _You are unable to spell it out for yourself. _

-

"You're destined for great things, kid."

-

Before he can react, my grip tightens.  
Finger squeezes against strain of trigger.  
Recoil.  
Bullet lands him in the kneecap.  
Screams.  
Inhale.  
He's falling to his right side.  
Lead.  
Fire.  
Shoulder wound.  
Crying out.  
Stepping forward.  
Again.  
Hole in throat, he's gurgling, trying to cry in protest.

-

I've seen my death.

-

"One day, you're going to rule this land."

-

At the door, behind him, armed guards.  
Advancing...

-

_How many shots did you fire, Antoine?_

-

"As far as the eye can see, it will be all yours."

-

Gun to my chin.  
Bullet will reach me before they do.

Grit my teeth and pull the trigger.

-

_Then what happened?  
_You know what happened. It's very obvious, what happened.  
_It is, but you aren't getting it._

I shot myself....

-

_*click*_

-

_No. You didn't._

-

On top of me, grabbing me as I thrash and kick and fight.

-

I did.  
Pulled the trigger, and the gun blew my head off.  
Ended my suffering.

_Is that why they put you in an insane asylum? And not a morgue?_

That's not... that didn't happen.

_There were six bullets in the gun._

No..

_Why do you insist on lying to yourself?_

NO! NONONONONO!

*

*

*

*

-

*

*

*

*

Eyes pop open to the loud lock snapping free from inside the wall.

Can't move.

Metal door grinding against cement floor.

Silhouette steps through door.

"It's time for your medication, Mr. Depardièu."


End file.
